Jack Sparrow

This morning I did it! I crossed that first line of nerves that were keeping me from getting precious information out of the strange. There is a gentleman who dresses up as Jack Sparrow and hits Hollywood Boulevard to 'make some scratch,' as he put it. This gentleman really perked up when I mentioned how my beliefs, from an objective point of view, are rather infantile.

Before we get too far along into his beliefs it should be noted that Pirate McPoorAccent was the the photo double for JohnnyDepp in both Pirates 3 and Sweeney Todd. He was also living in his girlfriend's car. From a hollywood perspective this doesn't seem plausible. A photo double of that caliber should be making plenty of money but Pirate McPoorAccent did believe it to be true. That's just one of his beliefs.

Over the course of our 15 minute train ride I found out that Johnny Wannabe is a 'staunch atheist'. Atheism is a religion of sorts. It is the belief that there is no higher power, enlightened one, or deity of any kind. Scallywag Nomustache felt that any person can form a more effective religion than all that currently exist. If a person were to state 'God is in my shoe' then, based solely on the fact that it doesn't contradict itself, he would be more inclined to believe in that religion. There were different moments of profound revelation like when he revealed to me that the true God is either Brian Boitano or Scott Baio. Perhaps it's a combination of both. (You can do the combination work if you want to see it.) 'Regardless', Pirate McPoorAccent stated soberly, 'if there is a God he is Anti-David Hasselhoff!'

If there ever was a true statement.